This is a fairly common question that forms a regular part of our interactions with one another. We ask what another person is called because it gives us a glimpse of who they are and how to engage with them. This could be the reason why people take umbrage when their names are misrepresented in any way and they don’t hesitate to correct the “offending party” accordingly. 

This got me thinking about the pillars that women rest their identity on and whether they are strong enough to carry the original intention behind their creation. 

Women have faced diverse and complex challenges over the years. It certainly seems like from time immemorial, women have been trying to get their voices heard about the challenges they face. The struggle is global and transcends race, nationality, politics, culture and religion. From the spirited fight for women’s suffrage, to the struggle to end domestic violence, physical and sexual abuse as well as harmful cultural practices such as female genital mutilation and more, it would appear that events over time have conspired to present women with a false notion of their value and what they can become.

Could it be that the way we perceive ourselves is fundamentally flawed? Are we striving to achieve equality and liberation which will not satisfy in the final analysis? Have we set our sights low, when the One we should model ourselves after is the Creator who made us?

Let’s go back to the beginning. The book of Genesis, which records our origins, states that GOD decreed the creation of man (male and female) in His image. He then gave us dominion over the affairs of the earth. GOD created the woman as a help meet comparable to the man He had formed, Adam. This means that GOD infused aspects of Himself in the woman and particularly in her womb so that what she brings forth (which is unseen) introduces the missing elements to change the existing status quo. 

There is a real context surrounding our existence! And that context is the will of GOD, who created us in His image (exact likeness and representation) and sent us to the earth with unique pathways to walk in and realities to experience in Him (Acts 17:26, Ephesians 2:10). 

In the 1999 movie, The Matrix, Neo (played by Keanu Reeves) discovers that humanity has been deceived into living in a carefully crafted pseudo reality, all the while unaware of a real and available context from which to exist. He is then drawn into a rebellion against the simulated reality that humankind is trapped in, along with others who have been freed from the Matrix. 

The status quo of our existence

From birth, we are gradually and consistently introduced to codes that govern how we perceive ourselves, our families, work, and other contexts. Unaware of an alternative reality, we continually perpetuate these codes to those that come after us. In my early twenties, I remember questioning long-held traditions around women that didn’t make any sense to me. One of these had to do with inheritance, particularly why women in the culture I was born into were prohibited from inheriting ancestral land. I learned that this tradition was in place because women were expected to marry and so would be “taken care of” by their spouses. That’s just how things have always been and what has been accepted as the context for living. 

Women have grown up believing that until we acquire something outside of ourselves, we are incomplete. Typical examples include a thriving career, financial freedom, a successful marriage, with loving children to boot. Where did this picture of “success” come from? We expect these external things to fill up the empty spaces inside us where low self-esteem, fear, a hunger for approval and other limitations exist. When I went through a separation, the biggest battle I had to overcome was in my mind. I needed to tear down the faulty foundations I had based my self-worth on. The truth is, being single, married, separated, divorced or widowed have absolutely no bearing on your worth before GOD. 

So, how do we transition from what we have always known and called ourselves to what GOD originally mandated for us?

As we have all grown up in contrary contexts, we also need to start the process of questioning what we’ve accepted as reality. As we come to GOD as the Author and Creator of our lives, we can interact with His word about our identity and make the requisite adjustments, especially in our minds. 

When I read the Biblical story of the Woman at the Well, I know that a transition to the picture GOD has for us is possible. She starts her process like all of us, grappling with various issues, till she comes face to face with GOD who changes the trajectory of her life. She was willing to trade in everything she’d ever known, pursued and valued to follow her Saviour.

I’ve always wondered why someone whose life impacts so many like the woman at the well isn’t named like other women featured in Scripture. Maybe the reason is so that we can read her story, see our reflections in her and know that our personal transformation is possible as well.